5. David And Goliath (Building Courage in the face of fear)

The story of David and Goliath is one that a number of us are quite familiar with from our bible stories, and also from movies made about that epic battle between a shepherd boy and a Gigantic war veteran.

However... I'm certain that we have never heard it told quite like this, what if I told you that Goliath was no match for David in that battle, and that from the moment he stepped forward the battle was lost to him and the philistines. Well it certainly was because David had God on his side...but away from the spiritual angle of things, how many of us have ever tried to take a deeper look at the strategy behind such an epic win for a seemingly clueless shepherd boy.

I'm a softie for historical stories of all kinds, but when you throw in Religion, Psychology and Strategy in one mix...aaahhh you've got my attention 100% plus. So...1st things 1st...a quote!

"But the Lord said, do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; For the Lord does not see as mortals see, they look on the outward appearance but the lord looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16: 7

Wow! I must have come across the above quote in more places than I can remember but in this book, I read it with new eyes and new understanding. Again, moving away from the spiritual angle of this story, to our mortal everyday lives; how often do we look at things only at surface value, without really assessing the full picture or details behind what we are faced with, understanding the nuances around it or looking behind the bling and glamour? a lot I assume, and this is not to say you should assess everything with a microscope, but how about when dealing with a Giant (Giant being powerful opponents of all kinds e.g. oppression, disability, abuse, misfortune, heartbreak ..whatever oversize challenge you face) then by all means you should be taking more than just a cursory look...

But back to the book, lets analyze both men in this story starting with Goliath.

Goliath

Goliath was a giant of a man, oppressive in stature and in battle, who from youth trained as a warrior and had fought and won many battles. He was skilled with several weapons, and on this day carried a javelin, a spear and a sword moving slowly and looking menacing,  plus he had an attendant who carried a large shield in front of him. In addition to all of this, he wore a bronze helmet, and full body armor made of bronze. To cut a long story short this dude was covered from head to toe in armor, and with the weapons he carried was ready + skilled enough to annihilate David. This he made very clear when he shouted out "come to me that I might give your flesh to the birds of the heavens and the beasts of the fields". Sounds unbeatable but....

(from a strategic point of view, can you think of all the things "WRONG" with this picture? humor me and try)

David

David was a young shepherd boy who had never been in battle, except with animals while protecting his sheep. Infact on this very day the only reason he was out there was because he was taking food to his older brother who fought with Saul's army. He had on no armor (actually refused Saul's armor, said it was too heavy, hint), for weapons he carried a sling and a pouch filled with rocks, and chanted his own battle cry while racing down the hill "You come against me with sword and spear but I come against you in the name of the lord almighty, whom you have defied". Sounds foolish but...

(from a strategic point of view, can you think of all the things "RIGHT" with this picture? humor me and try)

I'm hoping you did try to think of what could be wrong and right with both scenarios, but here's the authors convincing take on it.

Strategic Lessons

• Do your homework: Goliath was well known so guess what, David had his data, every possible thing there was to be known about Goliath was known by David. He knew his history, his weapons, his fighting style, his thought patterns, he basically knew every move Goliath was planning to take, why? because of the very thing that made Goliath so great. He was big, he was skilled and he was famous for it. Therefore nothing he could have done would have been new to David...But Goliath knew absolutely nothing about David except that there was a frail lad racing downhill. David knew what he was up against and was prepared, Goliath had no clue.

• Look beyond the obvious: For all who looked upon the battle scene, what they saw was a heavily armored & skilled giant with hideous weapons in his arsenal + a guard with a shield to protect the giant, and then smallish David...with no battle experience, shameful weapon arsenal, and no armor to protect him. What they did not see ( or more correctly... what they saw but did not register) was how heavy Goliath was at that point, he could barely move due to all that he was wearing and carrying, whereas David had less hindrance and more flexibility on his side, he could have danced circles around Goliath while Goliath was still trying to raise his sword. Also, David was used to taking on opponents bigger than himself who were very swift and mobile and had succeeded every time in overcoming them (remember the lions he protected his sheep from?) but of course Goliath had no knowledge of this. He was confident in the fact that this frail dude has never done battle, grossly underestimating David. I bet if you were on the scene that day, you would have put your money on Goliath, but Big, bold, shiny isn't always what's best. We've got to start viewing advantages and disadvantages differently and it all starts with our own inner compass versus popular opinion on what appears to be best.

• Switch the game on them: This one we've probably heard before. Don't be predictable or follow the status quo, where there are veterans and you do this, you're going to loose. They know it better than you, they're more skilled at it than you, they've got more experience and contacts than you, they've got deeper pockets than you... you've got to come up with something new, you can't do same old and expect to win. Switch the game up on them. Goliath was used to close combat where he could display his strength and expertise, he even gave away his battle style by saying "come to me that I might give your flesh to the birds of the heavens"....he expected that David will come close to fight him in the way that he was used to fighting, but David had other plans. David knew what it was like to fight opponents bigger and stronger than him, he had practiced with the Lions and wild beasts of the wilderness, he knew it was better to weaken them from a distance before going close and that's exactly what he did. Goliath was armored from head to toe, but the one place where he was unprotected (his forehead) was where David struck, and he had the perfect weapon for this. See? he had studied Goliath from a distance and saw his vulnerabilities where others saw strength, he knew just where to strike, he had the right weapon too (Sling & rock) and had refused Saul's armor because he knew it would add no value to his strategy. The books says.."Goliath had as much chance against David as any Bronze age warrior with a sword would have against an opponent armed with an automatic modern age pistol". The rock went into Goliaths forehead much the same way a bullet would and knocked him out cold!

• Never despise humble beginnings or perceived difficulties: Sometime we make the mistake of despising our humble beginnings, or regretting the difficulties we encounter during the course of our lives, but as earlier said...that is a mistake. Difficulties have a way of bringing out the best in us. I personally believe this and know this for a fact from my own life experiences...the book places emphasis on this as well. While we all wish to be successful and have a cushy life, we cannot take away from the fact that some tough experiences have contributed immensely to who we are and who we will become, therefore change your perspective on difficulties and learn to embrace all situations (find the good/lesson in it) as they are bound to come in useful some time in future. I bet David never thought his lion fighting skills would come in handy for anything other than guarding sheep some day, he must have wished to be safe in his bed far away from danger on some of those cold, dangerous nights out in the wilderness. But look what he was able to do with those skills.

• It is okay to be afraid but don't stay there: Fear is a terrible feeling, a paralyzing feeling, but the feeling of fear is most times worse than what we even fear and sometimes we compromise ourselves and values just to avert what we fear. How many of us have dreaded experiences so bad, but when they eventually happened you came out stronger and better for it, and you're like...what was I so afraid of? yeah...I know that feeling all too well. Fear can be scary but it's really not that terrible when lined up against other real issues. It's okay to feel fear...but don't stay there, move forward any way...keep going anyway, have a plan and execute it anyway, the feeling of fear is far worse than the actual event you fear itself. And once you've overcome one significant fear your courage builds up, and the next fearful event isn't so fearful anymore because you've survived one before and you know you'll be okay. Overcoming fear promotes self confidence and is the very mother of bravery.

• Believe in something bigger than yourself: " I returned and saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all" Ecclesiastes 9:11

Its incredible what happens to supposed ordinary humans when they have a conviction in something bigger than themselves. Some people say its a belief in God, others say its their calling or duty, a few even tag it revenge, still another group call it love. The consensus however is that once a person is able to transcend self or selfish motives, their ability to achieve great things inspite of great adversity becomes unpredictable, as the normal rules no longer apply to them or what they become capable of. So... for you I ask, what is your why? what is your purpose for wanting to overcome? what do you believe in? and why do you do what you do? it's got to be something beyond just you, else you'll probably never get very far with it. Find a way to contribute, a way to add to this world vs just taking from it, a way to be useful and of help vs just making profit and enjoying life. Your life should count for something and be of use to others beyond yourself. If you keep this at the forefront in all things, the courage to overcome every Giant standing in your way will somehow always be available to you.

Well....no harm in trying some of this out right?
The book gives lots of other great/real life examples, so if you wish to know more, you could check it out for yourself.

I hope this was useful🙏...Cheers🍸 to open minds!

You can contact me on aykay80@gmail.com for any enquiries you might have, or just leave a comment and I'll be thrilled to respond.

4. The Customer Service Revolution

"There is no such thing as a difficult or disloyal customer...only a customer seeking to be understood"

Okay...so I know some of us who are not entrepreneurs, customer representatives, or employees working in the services & hospitality businesses, might look at this title and think nope... not for me, but I promise you'll be pleasantly surprised by the message in this book. It cuts across all works of life including just being a person who comes in contact with others, not for the purpose of any profit per say but as a way of life. In that case  I think its only right that we start by 1st agreeing on who a customer is.

A customer is any person you communicate with directly on any given day, who is affected by what you do and depends on you for certain expectations to be met.

Going by above definition...even my 1 year old is my customer, my Husband is a major customer, my colleagues at work are my customers and you (yes you) are my customer. What do all these persons have in common? they all have "expectations" of me that I am capable of and have committed to meeting.

Therefore, how can we make the experience we offer to our customers one of the best aspects of their lives. This book gives great pointers on how to maximize the customer experience and I will try to capture as much of it as I can without being too lengthy...starting with "you".

What is your brand and what do you have to offer?

Its amazing how the purpose question comes up here again, but if you're offering something then it should have a purpose right? Right!

Therefore our starting point is to...

i. Clarify the objectives behind why we offer the services we offer and be sure its something we can commit to for the long term. 

ii. Develop our own values that will serve as the standard for offering this service.

iii. Equip  ourselves with the necessary tools/skill set to enable the brand thrive.

 ...and then of course "serve it".

Now that's a great starting point, and wouldn't life be awesome if that was all it took to make you the "go-to" brand? but nothing is really that simple because in most cases, there are other brands offering nearly the exact same service you offer, so why should the customer choose your brand/product as the preferred. What makes you stand out?

This book explores some powerful concepts for ensuring you give your customers a revolutionary experience every single time.

Beyond Customers Expectations!

Hmmm...I was particularly excited to come across a novel concept in the book which indicates that for exceptional customer service, the Golden Rule of "Treat others the way you would like to be treated" is a dangerous compass, because the way "you" want to be treated is not necessarily the way your customer wants to be treated. You may even have 80% of your customers who want to be treated same, but another 20% who are radically different. Therefore learn the Platinum Rule of "Personalization" and "Treat others how they enjoy being treated" without compromising any of your own core values.

Also...its good to deliver on the customers expectations but how about going beyond their expectations, giving them something they didn't even know they wanted until you provided it and suddenly its the trend and no one seems to remember a time when that didn't exist. (Think mobile phones and the gigantic strides made in that technology space which never existed just few years ago). What radical new approaches can you introduce that will change your service space forever. Think about that for a few minutes.

Brand Ambassador vs. Brand Terrorist

A mere look at the above heading would have one thinking this must be focusing on my customers perception of the brand and how they react either positively or negatively to the services received...because as we know one positive or negative word from a customer can make a huge impact on your brand particularly as word travels so fast these days with the help of technology. True! however there's a new twist, because it turns out that we or in some cases our staff are our own biggest ambassadors or terrorist. How do we mean? Well...sometimes brands with staff make the mistake of assuming that the staff do not deserve the same courtesy that the customers do and that's where we're wrong because staff also have contacts who they can bad mouth the brand all they want to, or can become so disgruntled that their approach in attending to customers sends the customer right out the door. So pls treat /train staff right so they can treat customers right.

In addition, has it occurred to us that we could also be our brand's biggest terrorist due to some negative cues/attitudes which we proudly display? Here are some examples of situations where we sabotage our own brands

• Negatively worded  or threatening toned policy statements: For e.g. "We are not responsible for lost or stolen property" or "Parking at owners risk". Such statements already indicate to the customer that they are on their own there, if anything goes wrong, no one cares. Simply re-wording the message can serve the same purpose without making the customer feel bad. e.g. "This is a common area, customers are encouraged to protect their valuables"

So next time you're making that communication, think how will this be interpreted and see if you can re-word it to mean something positive.

• Shaming of Customers : The book gave an example of a restaurant that tweets at all its customers who fail to show up for their reservations while making mockery of their no show.(Horrifying). Now I know the customer ought to have called to cancel or something, but what if there was a truly genuine reason why the person failed to call to cancel, perhaps there was even no reason, what do you gain by antagonizing/shaming the customer? for one that customer is never ever coming back, and think of all the bad press you'll be getting from the customer in future, or even potential guest who will be turned off by such display of tactlessness. This is an extreme e.g but I've seen cases of brands taking to social media to curse out some annoying customer, or some defaulting customer. No one needs to know the sometimes ugly details of doing business, you can handle those in private like a pro, or advice customers on your preferred way of doing business.

Shaming/punishing/throwing shade at your bad customers publicly, is definitely not a way to make or grow your brand.

• Customer Discrimination: Okay...this I've seen a lot and im sure you have too. There are lots of reasons why brands do classifications, the idea is not to stop classifications, no...but to find an inclusive way of communicating these classifications, the reasons behind them, and then offer alternatives.

"Build your brand's customer experience as though no customer had bad intentions"

A day in the life of a customer

A truly powerful concept which this book advocates is placing yourself in the life of a customer (creating actual scenes or concepts that depict real life scenarios), in order to anticipate their most difficult disposition and prepare yourself to service their needs in a way that transforms their day. There are so many cases of difficult/irrational customers who flare up or act nasty at little or no provocation. Sometimes we get mad also and respond in kind, without taking into consideration the various issues or even life challenges that affect that customer, we should be prepared to handle those rare occasions and channel difficult customer experiences into productive outcomes or at least not let things de-generate into severe conflict space. If you had prior knowledge of the kind of day or life your customer has had, would you treat that difficult customer with more kindness and empathy? Every one has a story! Think about how that might play out for your brand.

Create A Service Vision Statement

A service vision represents the core of what a brand hopes to achieve day in day out, with its product. This is different from the mission which can be achieved over time, the service vision should be such that it can be tracked daily if its achieved or not. A good service vision is actionable, measurable and visible on a daily basis. Bonus points if its trainable too. For E.g. "To put a smile on every face" So what will you need to do to put that smile on every face? tell a joke, sing a song, offer speedy service, offer great prices, ...and when you did that how many smiles did you get, you can count or take pictures, but you should be able to prove daily if you achieved your service vision or not.

Always & Never Lists

The always and never list contains a breakdown of all your must do's and don't do's. This is particularly useful if you have staff so they know the code of conduct for the brand. E.g. Always greet with a smile, never greet with a frown.

Always ask "how can I be of assistance", never ask "what do you want" etc. im sure you get the idea. I recently got a new one myself "Always call back, never not reply".

Customer Secret Service

Hahahaha...I like this one #Stalkeralert.

Okay nothing creepy like that, it's actually a great concept for making your customers feel extra special and valued. Everyone loves a good dose of TLC every now and then, and this is what the Customer secret service hopes to achieve. So what does the CSS do?

The CSS is a database of useful personal information on your customers that help you customize your brand to their needs. A helpful acronym when applying CSS is F.O.R.D which stands for (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams). Having a little knowledge on above mentioned aspects of your customer will not only boost your interaction with the customer, but will give you a hint on what kind of products to offer them. It could also help you understand their preferred method of service e.g. office deliveries, home deliveries, speed service so they can be on their way, or extra chatty for the one who likes to chat etc.

The basic idea here is to learn something about the customer, that helps you create an experience for them that feels super special.

Attitude vs. Aptitude

This is a great place to end this summary because in the end if you do all the awesome things as outlined above and your attitude sucks, sorry you're not going to have much luck keeping those customers for long. You can be the greatest at what you do but if people continuously experience the genius of your brand with a foul taste in their minds, trust that they will not be coming back or recommending you to anyone else for that matter. One hit wonder? yeah that!

"If you want customer loyalty, be brilliant at the basics and leave no unhappy customers behind"

I hope this was useful🙏...Cheers🍸 to open minds!

You can contact me on aykay80@gmail.com for any enquiries you might have, or just leave a comment and I'll be thrilled to respond.

3. The Great Work Of Your Life - ii (Purpose & Life Meaning)

The 2nd Pillar: Do It Full Out

"The disunited mind is far from wise, you must overcome the confusion of duality"

The previous post introducing this book which focused on the 1st pillar (Look to your Dharma), outlined how we find and understand the gifts which form our true nature, real selves, etc...leading to our purpose. The quote above implies that once you have discovered that niche which is yours to enjoy and occupy, then you must commit to it and give it the best of you. The temptation to multi-specialize is a common trend in this day and age but the result of that is you never quite achieve greatness in any sphere. Therefore, commit to your niche and don't get distracted by the glitz, glam or comfort  elsewhere. Do yours..Full out! by....

* Creating the right conditions for it and doing it on purpose

* Unify, Focus & Concentrate your energies on it

* Practice Deliberately

• Create the right conditions & do it on purpose

"Actions taken in support of your calling can transform you as an individual. The act of commitment itself calls forth an unseen power that helps you grow into outcome."

Do we recognise this power in any aspects of our lives? I sure do, notice how any time you firmly make up your mind on something you're convinced of, it just happens to work out regardless of challenges you might have anticipated in the beginning, and the more you lean into it, the better it gets. At other times however, you probably got talked into(or talked yourself into) something you weren't really feeling but did it anyway and ended up stressing yourself out with little or no results...well, stop that.

Its hard I know, especially in a world like ours where one's got to eat and sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Fair enough.

The advice here is that , you can keep giving excuses and remain mediocre/unsatisfied/divided in mind...as time passes you by, or you can take the leap and create a life filled with purpose and rich meaning, which will eventually result in you having everything of importance you need if you work at it consciously and committedly.

So...having searched truly and deeply, you get a sense of what it is you need to do and what will enable you do it, next step..get what you need to enable it come forth. For e.g. in my case right now..a book to read, a blog page, a quiet room to think and write, a laptop and Wi-Fi to post blog with . Doesn't sound like much right now, however...the outcome of this in the long run could be, motivational speaking on topics I've covered in my blog, coaching sessions for persons who want to know more on this, my personal implementation of the principles here leading to improved performance in my work/relationships, testimonials of persons whose lives changed as a result of my sharing, or just the sheer joy of seeing my thoughts come to life online...for any of the just stated examples, I still win. Also, nothing stops me from jumping at any activities that require such skills in my current role, while seeing it as deliberate practice. Such that in little time coleagues would recognise that this is my turf and push such assignments my way, im happy...they're happy and we all win.(pls take a few minutes to think about how this might look in your own circumstance)

• Unify, Focus & Concentrate your energies

"Like a telescope at first only hazily focused on a distant star, a series of consecutive corrections&fine tuning make the star sharper & clearer. Eventually the star comes into full view...vivid, brilliant, alive"

The quote above implies the state of the mind when you're only just beginning to sniff out your purpose/calling, you have a sense of what it is but you're not really sure, so you start narrowing your lenses (i. e channeling your efforts towards your gifts/true nature) in order to get a clearer view, the more you narrow and fine tune (i. e concentrate your energies on your gifts/nature), the clearer it becomes, until there, its sharp and crystal clear in your mind (i. e there comes a need of the times which you know you're  qualified to meet) and now you know exactly what you must do..you do it and there your shine!

This book gives great examples of individuals who embodied this principle of focus & energy concentration, with unbelievable results and impact in the world. One of such examples is of Susan B. Anthony, the lady who championed the movement for female voters in America.

She started her life as a teacher because she admired the social and economic independence which the profession of teaching allowed women in those days, and while in that role was able to educate herself on a wide range of topics from which she discovered her passion for social action & reforms on issues surrounding women. 

Shortly after this discovery, she left her role of teaching to take up activities based on this new passion, she joined a reform group, and championed/won her 1st demonstration to give women the right to speak in public.(notice how her years of teaching will have prepared her for this)

Many different small wins later, she came to the realization that until women were allowed to vote, there would always be disregard for their opinions or welfare, so her mission became to secure the right to vote for women, and this became her life's great work. Everything she did was now channeled towards bringing that dream to life....from the clothes she wore, to the books she read, the exercises she did, the classes she took, the forums she attended, and the company she kept, she sharpened herself daily in readiness for the role she was destined to play.

She became the epitome of the woman you felt confident to allow a vote and inspired a whole generation of women along that line. She debated where necessary, and solicited where necessary, she took criticism with her head held high and stayed the course because her eyes were fixed on the goal. It wasn't about her and her needs, her pride, or her glory, it was about generations of American women for whom the slightest mis-step on her part would have cost them the right to vote. In the end, what a confounding ripple impact the action of the little girl who wanted to be a teacher, resulted in for modern day society. (such an inspiring piece of history). Can you think of any examples around you that give insight to how deliberate practice and focus gave birth to life changing purpose. A few readily come to my mind. 

So...what steps are you going to take to ensure you create the right conditions to make your own little piece of history? Begin now, stay the course, channel/focus your energies towards it and give time the opportunity to make your work a part of history, whatever your niche may be.

• Practice Deliberately

"The master may be utterly like the rest of us in every other way, but in his own domain, he sees and acts more deeply...due to the blending of the gift with sustained intensive effort.


Deliberate practice is not about repetition of the activity, it is about sustaining actions on the activity with the specific view of further understanding it & improving that activity. It is not enough to just keep repeating it, you have to make it better than it was the previous day, that way each new piece is a reveal of fresh aspects of your growth.


Deliberate practice is ceaseless work on your craft, either by observing it (i. e study experts in that domain),  by executing it (i. e apply what you learn or just go with your inspiration), and finally by application of invulnerable conscience (i. e remain true to your craft & your own voice/style, resist following trends for the sake of trends, be authentic).


Truly there is genuine enjoyment in the practice of your calling or utilization of your gifts. You should confidently seek out opportunities to display them as this is the only way you get better and grow in it...volunteer if necessary,  take up apprenticeship under an expert in that domain, find ways to display it in the course of your everyday life, engage family, friends, colleagues with it, whatever you do, make sure you keep at it and not lose it. Become disciplined about your practice and your delivery. Master your craft!


As you do this, you will observe how you are slowly becoming one with it, such that at any time you are called to deliver you are ready and capable. There appears to be an instinctive alignment/connection with your craft, you just "flow" with ease in its delivery & application, Eventually you get to points of genius, if you keep unraveling it, layer by layer, day by day, step by step.

Did you get to the end??? Great!

In summary of the 2nd Pillar : You already have a sense of what it is you're really great at that the world needs. Now is not the time to hesitate! take action to enable these gifts come forth and thrive by creating the right conditions, providing the right resources and being in the right environment that supports you to achieve. Find every opportunity to practice, as this is the only way you get better at it and convince others to take you seriously.

Hope this was useful🙏...Cheers🍸to open minds!

2. The Great Work Of Your Life - i (Purpose & Life meaning)

There comes a time in every adults life, after all the basic security needs (food, clothing, shelter etc.) have been met, you realise that you're restless and searching for something still.

Some would say its time to settle down, start a home, have kids... others would say, start a business, make money, climb the career ladder, get famous and so on. Well, it turns out that in most cases even after all that, the restless/unsatisfied feeling stays...that's just the way it is, and actually its not a bad thing because that restlessness is what keeps us striving and reaching towards new grounds to conquer, or heights to surpass.

The big question however is, how do I know what grounds I'm supposed to be conquering? or what I should channel my efforts towards that would give me the most benefit? how can I be sure that what I'm currently doing is not a waste of time, or that the opportunities that present themselves are right for me?

Mehhn... in my own case my default response was that I was just being ungrateful to God for his numerous blessings in my life, and that I should be contented with my lot and keep it moving, but no matter how many times I prayed and said lord I am grateful, I still felt the nagging thought at the back of my mind that I was missing something. So I started a long search around purpose, and meaning, and duty and peace etc. I found a lot of information, had some great conversations, made some sketchy outlines, I was still in the process when I found this book.

The Great work of your life...

" If you bring forth what is within you, it will save you. But if you do not bring forth what is within you, it will destroy you"

The quote above from the book is one of the 1st things that made my heart pound when I read it, and the question I asked myself was, what is within me that has the power to both save and destroy me?(ponder on that) fortunately that question was answered as the book progressed.

The author uses the Bhagavad Gita (An ancient Indian tale) as the back drop for the learning's of this book. The Bhagavad Gita tells a story of a warrior whose moral duty is to fight on the side of good, against evil. On this particular battle however, it turns out that he is to fight against loved ones, as he sees family members, friends, teachers & elders in the enemies camp. He falls to his knees in his chariot and refuses to fight, but his charioteer and companion (a wise and elderly man) seeing the young warrior in despair decides to counsel him and guide him out of the great dilemma, giving him insight beyond the physical to understand the nature of this fight, plus the negative implications if he failed to carry out his duty as a warrior. The lesson begins with this question from the warrior to the wise man "what should I do? what is the right thing for me to do?"

What should I do? what is the right thing for me to do? A question I bet everyone of us has asked at several points in our lives and will go on asking as time goes by, in our quest to understand and fulfill what we are called to do in this lifetime. These questions were answered in Four Pillars by the companion, who it turns out, happened to be God in disguise.

The 1st Pillar: Look to your Dharma

Dharma is a Sanskrit word of indian origin which can be interpreted to mean "true nature", "essential traits", "real self", "sacred duty", "moral code". In essence, it is those aspects of us that were mysteriously already present in us even from birth and have stayed with us through out our lives making us uniquely who we are. We are aware of these traits, but for some of us, never really name them or hone them. It is essential that we recognize these unique aspects of us, we name them, we embrace them and we sharpen them with regular use and deliberate practice in order to fulfill our calling/purpose in life. Our inability to do so will have us feeling unsatisfied, chasing after others who have found and are living their own purpose, or settling for a life that appears close to what we think should be our purpose. This book gives several real life examples of persons who were actually living their purpose but refused to embrace it because they felt it was not glamorous enough or prestigious enough in comparison to what seemed to apply around them, so they lived in denial and in constant longing of what others seemingly had. It also gives great examples of those who discovered their purpose and spent the rest of their lives perfecting it, with tremendous results and impact in the world.

This brings us to the hallmark quote of the book which says...

"Every man has a vocation to be someone: but he must understand clearly that in order to fulfill this vocation, he can only be one person: himself."

God in his infinite wisdom created man with different roles to play on earth, and for each he gave the requisite talents to fulfill that unique purpose for which they were created. Remember the parable in the bible about the talents given to the hard working servants and the lazy servant? (Matt 25: 14 - 30 ) yeah...That!

 So how then do we trace this Dharma in our own lives ? ? ?

* By trusting in our gifts * By thinking of the small as large  * By Listening for the call/needs of the times

• Trust in the gift

Can you think of any activity that you have a seemingly unquenching interest in, which when you engage in with high concentrated effort becomes almost effortless and even enjoyable, time passes by without you noticing, you just flow when doing it, you leap out of bed in the morning to face it, your eyes are shining and your energy is vibrant/infectious when you're engaged in it, people compliment you on it, you feel most like yourself when at it, you're a natural in that area and it feels right up your alley. (Pls take a few minutes to ponder these questions)

Any themes popping up? there could be several but some will spread through all others.

Mine is something like this, I love to read, I could read 24 hrs. straight and not even feel hungry, I read all sorts, and I love to learn and take in new information, not only that...I take lots of notes about what I learn, but guess what...the best part of all that reading and learning is when I have to dish out what I took in, I turn pro or so I've been told, and I have such a good time while doing it. Which leaves me thinking is my dharma to teach? Even as a kid, I was usually selected for teacher roles in plays, I was in the debating club and news club, I was in the dramatic and music club as well (my other interests) but I wasn't a star there, my star shone brighter in the literary clubs, and my friends in Uni. even nick named me principal.

So perhaps I should be a teacher right? well...yes I could be a "teacher", but do opportunities to teach/coach/speak only come up when you bear the title "teacher", the answer is no...because you see, the gift is not the purpose itself, it is only a guide pointing towards it, and a tool to be used in accomplishing it.

However you need to recognise what those gifts are, what those things you are passionate about & great at are, cultivate them by engaging in them regularly in order to sharpen them, because your gifts my friend have a bigger role to play, for which you need to be prepared.

When you neglect those gifts and not engage them regularly, you will notice how your internal energy/enthusiasm levels slowly decline, or that you need to keep inducing your energy levels with lots of other things which do not permanently give the satisfaction you crave, e.g. drinking, partying, shopping, hanging out etc... Not that those things are bad, but when you have to keep doing them in order to boost your energy levels??? I'm sure you get the idea. There are lots of other great examples in the book to provide more clarity.

• Think of the small as large

"Be resolutely and faithfully what you are , Be humbly what you aspire to be"

This quote tells us to be who we are now! not tomorrow, not next year, not when you become famous, or when you make that paper. All the tall dreams you have of who and what you'd like to be, don't wait! Be them, now!

Okay...great, but how? I want to be HR director of a global multinational, and one day own my own leadership academy, how the heck do I do that now! I still have several steps on the career ladder to get to that point and goodness knows the investments and resources I'll need before starting up my leadership academy.

I'm sure we all have different versions of the above  e.g. I just gave ,so lets be real here and quit dreaming right? uhmm, actually, why not?

This book says its because of something called "Grandiosity"

One of the biggest problems that has halted so many dreams is that of "Grandiosity", we have all these big dreams of what we want to achieve and become, but the intention/reason behind why we want to be those things is what stops us from acting now.

For e.g. I want to be HR director, so...what does a HR director do?  and what stops me from doing that now with the small team of people I currently support? Could it be that I just want the title and the pay so people can look at me and say ohh look, she's a HR director and earns so much. Maybe I currently have the basic skills needed to be a HR director but my excuse is that the size of my team is not quite director scope, so im focusing on the title & size instead of the activities which that role actually does, when I could in essence be channeling HR director in my current role and see it as practice for where im headed. Are we getting the picture?

We currently have our little sphere where we can embody these "true" aspirations, and nothing stops us from anchoring the activities around us with the mindset of whatever titles we truly aspire to be, not for the sake of the title, but for the sake of genuinely "doing" what is required of that title.

Once you do this, you will find that you get better with time, plus the authenticity and passion with which you do these activities will cause people to pay attention. The bible says, a mans gift maketh way for him and places him in the presence of kings, but that man would have needed to start from somewhere before the king heard of him right? Again, the problem seems to be our urge to stand before the king without the credibility it takes to get there.

So start using your gifts now, embody your dreams and aspirations, live it now with those around you and wherever you find yourself, believe that the small steps you make everyday will eventually take you to the king. But be certain that you are doing all of this in an area that you love and are passionate about, else you will be unable to sustain it, and those in that area who are right where there should be, will always have an edge over you because they are internally wired to be great at it. Besides people can always tell the difference between what's genuine and what's a forced effort. So as we popularly say "Just do you"...now! always, and keep working at it. The attached picture shows a commitment I borrowed from the book after reading this particular chapter on "Think of the small as large" I find that when I write things down and check back regularly, I commit more intensely to them.(Im such a lists' girl) You can try one for yourself and have it close by for inspiration on low energy days.

• Listen for the call/needs of the times

" The gift cannot reach maturity until it is used in the service of a greater good" . 

Your gift transforms to purpose only when it meets the needs of the times. It might be serving only 1 individual, but trust that the ripple effects from that one individual will set off a chain of reactions that will spread out across the world.

Remember the story of our distressed warrior, it was his offering of his warrior skill set  during that very crucial war between the forces of good and evil that transformed his gift into world changing purpose. He used his gift in service to the call of the times which in this case was a war, and by so doing stabilized the balance of the world.

Now that's a bit far fetched but we get the message right? This guy had fought several wars before (deliberate practice), but there was no record of them, what if he at that point decided this warrior life is too tedious for me, and said you know what, I'll sit this one out. I think I want to go be a priest in the temple, where I can live my life in peace, and have people come offer gifts to me and sing sweet songs of worship, what a great life that would be. Well...besides lacking the obvious traits of a priest which would have made him a horrible priest or mediocre at his best...I bet while in the temple he would have heard of the war and had sleepless nights about the outcome, and if the war was lost, probably commit suicide out of guilt(okay calm down Akpana), or spend the rest of his life sick and miserable, thinking if only I had remained the great warrior I was, the battle would have been won.

How many of us have had conversations like that with ourselves? If only I had made that step, If only I had chosen that path,  if only I had raised my hand, or conversations like... just look at that, I can do better, I know better, if I were the one doing so and so..everything will be different. Well guess what, the world needs you to step up and offer yourself (your real self, your true nature, your essential traits )in service to the various needs of humanity(and these needs abound, so pick your niche). Play your part!

If you bring forth what is within you, it will save you, you will do great things, you will succeed, stories will be told of your good works, you will achieve! you will! But if you do not bring forth what is within you, it will eat you up inside, and eventually destroy not only you but everyone else who could have been saved or helped with your gift! What then will you say, when you are asked what you did with your talents? Definitely not: I did not know that was my talent, or I preferred another talent even though I didn't particularly know what to do with it, or (here's a good one) my family and friends did not quite like it ...and so it got lost, such that even when the times called for your gifts, it was hidden in a pile somewhere and failed to come to light. Missed opportunities & wasted time??? yeah, That!

In summary of the 1st Pillar: The world needs something you know you have (dig deep for it), you should offer it in response to the call of the times! Don't wait till you're "somebody", think of it as practice and offer it now in service to all around you!

I hope this was useful, Cheers to open minds!

Next post will cover The 2nd Pillar